Our American culture has done everything in its power to remove guilt and shame from the American experience. In fact the only people who are told to feel guilty are those who advocate guilt and shame. Yet at the root guilt and shame deal with the fact that human beings feel disunion. Public policies and even debates are not built on love and reconciliation, but rather a zero-sum game. The political right and political left as well as their religious counter-parts are guilty of this. Not that being guilty has any force behind it, so I shall say what is my most inflammatory criticism.
I do not feel nearly so guilty or ashamed as I do; and you probably feel it too. If you are like me, you probably have been told that you shouldn't feel ashamed or guilty. If you are religious, you have probably been told that "your sins are forgiven and everything is okay." If you are not religious, you have probably been told that guilt and shame are religious deadweight getting in the way of your self-actualization. The fact is that there is grace of course (both in the religious and secular sense to an extent), but we must take into account the importance of being ashamed for our actions and being convicted of our guilt.
Guilt, as people point out, is when the self feels as if he or she has violated some law; while shame is more about violating the group dynamic. While there are times when people must question what people call law or group dynamics, the pendulum has swung way too far to the other extreme. How often do we justify our own sense of entitlement over and against what seems to be natural law or the needs of society. This is the time when guilt and shame kick in to tell us something is wrong; yet our society (be it secular or religious) tells us that this feeling is the aberration and not the thing for which we are fighting. When a normal person commits a crime, that person feels guilt. To override this feeling, leads to continuing its behavior and creating disunion between us and the rest of the world. We feel as if we have become special cases and the world owes us something. In the end a world without guilt or shame leads to hell on earth. Guilt is a warning light, it is annoying and painful but must be answered.
When we speak of struggling with something, let us take it seriously. This is some outside parasite and disease struggling to overtake us and replicate itself in us. It is hell attempting to turn us into carriers of hell. Yet, if we recognize it and don't delude ourselves into thinking it is something which it is not; we must fight it and struggle with it and hopefully have it rejected from us. Christians say this is the work of the Holy Spirit, and I firmly believe that one cannot fight something with nothing. Yet, for the secularist it should be pointed out that one can overcome many "sins" with hard work and discipline. For the Christian though, sin can only be rooted out by accepting the Holy Spirit and His work of the Church and the Gospel. Yet we must not pretend that we are saved just because we have invoked the Holy Spirit; a life which is changed will produce the reality of reconciliation that we seek. A life which remains unchanged means that we have forgotten that we are all still very guilty and have much to be ashamed of. It is not a pleasant message, but it is a hopeful one. The more unpleasant message would be to say we are all okay and beautiful just the way we are; but anyone who has spent time with a person who believes such nonsense about himself or herself is quickly looking for the nearest exit. Rather we look to be with and become the person who sees the flaws in one's life; works to living each day a little bit more in tune with law and neighbor; and sees that the work of the Holy Spirit will mend our lives only as much as we take Him seriously.
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